السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
I really appreciated reading your short story. I think it maybe the birth sign of a a big writer. The story in itself is expressive and descriptive of a deep human experience. The message you wanted to transmit is noble "sacrifice", however I have a small remark and advice about the way you conveyed it at the end. In advanced literature writings, it's up to the reader to discover this message. The writer only give hints and the path to it.
I hope my observation will rather encourage you than the opposite. Wish you good luck and continuity.